Uncontrolled Impulse
by mysteriouscastrophy
Summary: Neal Caffery can't take Peter Burke's broken promises any longer. He needs to find Kate. If Peter isn't going to do it, Neal will. This story contains non-sexual spanking of adults and cursing. If you don't like this, don't read. Thanks
1. The Only Ones With Hearts

_**The only ones with hearts**_

_AN:// Follows after the first season finale but there is different twist. This contains non-sexual spanking of adults. If you don't like it, great. Quit reading. Thanks. _

I'll give Peter some credit. He comes to work every day, every day including Saturdays. Peter doesn't see his wife nearly as often as he should, and he doesn't know how to have a little fun, always too serious, always about the case. He slaves around like a dog but then again he earns his respect from everyone else.

I on the other hand, come to work every day, because I'm force to come every day. I would see my wife as often as I could, that is if I had one. I know how to have fun, I can be serious when I need to be and it's always about Kate. I don't have the respect from everyone else, but that's just because I'm an ex-con.

We've been working on a case, something that didn't take my interest. Therefore, I haven't a clue what it's about.

"Neal? Are you paying any attention?" I turned to find Peter staring at me as if I was some delinquent teen.

"No, sorry." I looked over to his very attractive yet gay 'partner' who had a devious smile upon her face.

"Can't count on him for much still I see."

I didn't say anything, and of course neither did Peter.

It's funny what has happened since I've been released from jail, Peter and I have become partners and we've solved a lot of crimes. I've been more then helpful despite what Lauren thinks. She's just jealous because I'm better looking, smarter and his favorite partner.

He just may not realize it yet.

"I'm going to go to June's." I decided. It made my blood boil a little that Peter still didn't know how to stand up for me, he didn't have a problem confronting me on things I've done wrong. In fact, we sort of have a thing now where he thinks its okay to take me over his knee.

It's kind of a long story, but it happened after a man stole a portrait, and I stole it from him. I didn't tell Peter at first, and apparently if anyone found out I would be placed back in jail, for a very long time. We got into a heated argument and the next thing I know, I face down over his bony old knees. I got it good, and I hate pain so it didn't take me long to start bawling. After it he had placed a warm hand on my shoulder he told me that we were partners and that he did care about me. Of course that wasn't that last time that this sort of 'discipline' had taken place, but it was the first. And I never fought it.

That was getting old.

"Neal. You are staying here." He didn't even care to look up he was too busy leaning over his desk blinding himself looking at files with _Lauren_.

It probably wouldn't take me long to figure it out but I wasn't in the helping mood anymore. Someone here had Kate, and I didn't want to help these criminals with a single damn thing.

"No, Peter. I'm not." I was going to June's; I had other priorities that I needed to finish. Peter thought that he owned me; even if he did I wasn't he dog. "I'm leaving."

Peter half way looked up this time, that look in his eyes.

"I'm tired of this; I help you out day after day. When are you going to help me with what you promised?" I was starting to snap a little. I was growing irritated with his bore some games.

"I said I was going to help you find her Neal, I haven't had the time. We've been busy and you haven't been helping."

"I haven't been helping? I've risked my neck a few times and what do I get? A pat on the back, Peter, that's not what I want."

Peter gave me his full attention now. "In case you forgot Neal, that's not part of the original deal. You help us and we keep you out of prison."

"You promised me that-"

"What I had promised you has nothing to do with you not helping us." Peter countered picking up a different folder.

I couldn't take it any longer. He wasn't even trying to find Kate! He had broken his promise already. "That's it, I'm going home." I grabbed my coat and started heading for the door.

"If you take one step out of this office, I will have your ass put back in jail!" I turned back from the door; Lauren was staring at me with wide eyes. She actually looked like she was slightly concerned. No one knew that Peter punished me, as he had promised he wouldn't do it at work.

"What's the difference, Peter?" Even though the words flew out of my mouth in a smooth tone, I knew I had angered him further.

I stepped out.

It took him a moment to even realize that I was gone. I had made it down past the stairs and halfway through the little white cubicles before I heard him calling. "NEAL! Get your ass back up here! I swear on my life that you won't ever step foot outside your jail cell if you leave!"

I still hadn't quite turned around yet but I could feel everyone's eyes on me. All the typing had stopped and every cubical personal in front of me was staring intently.

I should have thought this one out a little more clearly, it's just Peter can be so infuriating I forget how to use my intelligence. Closing my eyes for a moment, I knew I couldn't make it past the doors as now two police officers guarded them.

Swinging around I turned to face Peter.

"I was going on a coffee run. It's been over 24 hours since I've seen my bed. So if you don't mind, I'll be on my way-" Peter knew as well as I did that I wasn't going on a coffee run, or to go home and just sleep.

He knew I was going to find Kate.

"Neal! Don't you move an inch!" Peter was now coming at me with quick stride. I don't know if anyone could hear my heart pound as loudly as it was in chest, but you sure as hell could read the sheer fear written across my face.

"Peter-"

He was standing before me now, face red and antagonized. "I **told** you _not _to set foot outside my office."

I tried to play off my usual, casual smile but instead I knew I still looked frightened. "I must have forgot, Peter. Things do slip my mind."

I am not the best at seeing my flaws, but that by far, was one of them. Peter balled up his fists and narrowed his eyes. "Maybe I should remind you what happened last time, Caffery."

I felt my face go white as a sheet. He wouldn't here, he couldn't here. There were so many people, he had promised me. "That's okay." I mumbled. I looked to my right and now Peter's boss and upper status workers were also here. Not wanted to cause a seen I looked back to Peter. "You seem confused; let's go back to your office."

I was hoping that Peter would follow me back to his office, and we could settle this in private, but instead as I began to walk past him he launched himself on me and grabbed my bicep.

"That's it Neal! You do not make a fool out of me at my work."

When it came I hadn't been ready, to say in the least.

Peter had turned me into him and slapped my rear, right in front of everyone. He hit me good enough that it sent me to my toes.

I heard a few gasps and then, to my dismay they started clapping. Applauding to his illegal transgressions, in the back I was able to hear his boss.

"Finally, Peter. Giving the criminal exactly what he deserves."

How dare they! They were supposed to be law enforcers! I thrashed myself from Peter's grasp. He wasn't expecting it, either from all the attention he was gloating in, or because I didn't fight him in the least before.

This time was different.

To my horror, I felt my eyes water. I could feel my face warm in embarrassment. He just smacked me in public, like some little naughty child. I shook my head I couldn't believe it. Peter had lied to me, he hadn't kept his word.

Lauren's mouth was wide open her eyes so easily read. "Peter," He eyes never leaving me. "Look what you have done to Neal."

My hair was limp and fallen from when I broke away from Peter; I hadn't even tried to fix it as I sprinted away from the scene. Peter's voice called after me but it was being muffled over the loud employees.

The guards didn't even try stopping me as I fled past them.

Maybe they were the only ones with hearts.

AN://_Lucky for you I finished the next chapter already. (: I'll post it soon. _


	2. The Tracker

_The Tracker _

_AN:// Thank you for the wonderful reviews. (: _

It was late out, the sun had already died beneath the horizon hours ago. All the stars had vanished into the city lights, as the moon was just a sliver crest in the cloudy night sky.

Outside a fancy night bar I was casually seated at a white clothed table, sipping on a Mojito.

"How did you find me?"

My blue eyes seemed broken and dull as I stared blankly into my fifth glass.

"I tapped into your tracker."

"Figures." I took another large gulp from my minty liquor. "Can always count on you to find me, where ever it is, that I am." I knew that I was beyond drunk now. I couldn't keep my head from drooping back into the chair. Drinking really isn't a gentleman's card, but I really could care less anymore. It was solving a lot of my problems at the moment, or maybe just dulling them.

"Yes, well you leave enough bread crumbs that you easy to find."

I opened up my eyes, a short smile plaguing my face. "You should take up smoking again. I liked you better."

"Smoking kills people, Neal in case you already forgot."

"Precisely."

I pulled my classy black hat over my completely drunken face. "Mozzie?" My voice came slurred and muffled as I questioned him from underneath the hat.

"You immaturity is most annoying." Mozzie must have pulled out a cigarette because I heard him light it. "What is it you're pouting about now?"

Why must he think I am always pouting? And even if I was pouting, not saying that I was, why is it any of his business? I removed my hat and placed it back onto my head, only it didn't quite make my head. "Like I haven't heard that before, and I am not pouting. I'm thinking." I bent down to find my hat, but I couldn't seem to find it. Instead I found a pair of red heels dancing in front of my nose.

"Excuse me? Mrs? Yes, can I have another?"

The waitress turned and gave me a questionable look while raising an eyebrow. "Sir, are you driving home tonight, or is he your designated driver?"

I didn't even get the chance to speak because Mozzie, rudely interrupted.

"Yes I am, and I believe that it's time to leave, he will take a glass of water, and can you bring the tab?" The waitress nodded before departing.

"Back to what I was saying, I come to disagree." Mozzie drew in a deep breath, probably affecting his lugs to the core. He was going to die from cancer. "Is it Peter again?" Cancer or an 'accident.'

My face wasn't sober enough to cover up what I was thinking, and I made an irritated face. "No." After another short moment, I brought up what I really wanted to talk about. "I want to find Kate; can you get this thing off my ankle?"

"Not until after you tell me what's going on with you and Peter?"

I was beginning to feel sick. I didn't really want to think about Peter, that traitor. "Nothing, nothing is going on with me and Peter, because I am no longer working for Peter." I half laughed at the as the waiter came back with a glass of water and the check. "Besides jealously isn't a good color on you."

Mozzie looked somewhat intrigued at that. "Neal I mean really." He ignored that comment, simply because he knew it was true and went back to Peter, because he is obsessive... not that I'm not, I'm just saying. "However I'll ask you when you sober up as you seem to be a little out of your head. I don't like it when you drink, you're a mess."

I rolled my eyes at that, but couldn't say much because Mozzie slipped his money into the tab and wished the waiter goodnight.

"Plus, you're not a cheap date."

"Mozz, when have I ever been a cheap date?" I laughed at that as I slowly rose from my chair losing my balance.

Mozzie was at my side and put an arm under me. I may be like what twice his height but he was helpful as he brought me to his car. When he opened up the passenger seat door I expelled my stomachs contents into the gutter.

"Let's go partner. We have a lot of work to do."

I smiled and took my coat from Mozzie's waiting hands, flicking his cigarette out of his other.

"You're the only partner I ever want."

* * *

That night, by far was the longest.

I threw up most of the night, couldn't keep anything down, and my thoughts haunted me from sleep.

Mozzie was there, but it didn't solve the absent feelings for Kate. I needed Kate, she was my rock. Without her, I just had my balding partner, the law and the rest of the world against me. Sometimes I thought that maybe I had gone into the wrong profession, but it wouldn't take me long to snap out of that.

I hated going by the book, being held back, not being free.

Not doing whatever the hell it was I pleased.

I couldn't think otherwise, I couldn't be locked up. Sure the day job I was currently working was a fun pass time but the people I was around ruined it. I wasn't able to do anything without being distrusted, lied to and taken advantage of.

That's why Mozzie and I worked up the plan.

I was going to be free again.

And then, we were going to find Kate.

"Neal, you know... We are only going to have three hours, maybe even less until they realize that you disconnected your tracker."

We had packed a duffel bag of things that we were going to need, clothes, pictures, all the research I had done, and what money I had made, which wasn't much.

I stood standing in the pretty much empty bedroom now. The bed sheets were still a mess from the previous night, and all the bathroom things were still there. I'd pick up new ones up when we got the chance. I couldn't trust that they didn't put a tracker on anything else, and seeing as I only had time to check my clothes, other necessities had to wait.

"Almost ready Neal?" Mozzie was growing impatient. He had finished up the rest of the plans last night and was looking outside the front bedroom window where they had stationed a patrolling officer.

"Almost." I pulled out a grey folder and placed it onto the wood floor, next to it I set down the final piece of my departure.

I looked at my master piece, it was too good. "Neal, you are most sentimental."

"I know, I'm good aren't I?" My face broke out into another classic smile before I realizedmy hip was vibrating. "Damnit Peter." I looked to find my phone, and only three people knew that number. The head quarters, Peter, and well Mozzie, but I told him to stop calling after I relized I was being tapped into.

"It's Peter isn't it?" Mozzie had moved into the bathroom looking out the window.

Sure enough the caller ID read Peter Burke, now we had less time then orgnailly planned. After the call was missed I re-opened my cell phone and opened up a new text message for Mr. Peter Burke.

Mozzie smiled and leaned out the bathroom window. "You know quite frankly I'm surprised they didn't know about this escape route."

I couldn't help but smile, I was cunning whenever I needed to be. "That's because where you're standing is supposed to be June's bedroom."

"Ah, now I see. Neal, what would I do without you?"

"Not anything more then I can without you." I pulled up my pant leg. "Would you do me the honor?"

I can't explain the feeling that ran through me, as I listened to that tracker scream for its life before I silenced it for good.


	3. A Goodbye Crime Scene

_**A goodbye crime scene**_

_AN:// I'm really having too much fun writing this. Reviews were amazing, thank you_

Criminals never change.

They can't even try to turn a new leaf because it's always going to stay the same, no matter what.

There always going to be criminals.

Neal Caffery is one of these people. He is deceiving, untrustworthy and a waste of time, especially my time. I gave him his chance, twice now. What does he give me back in exchange?

A goodbye crime scene.

Of course by the time we got the warrant for the house it was far too late, all because June wouldn't let us in to see if he was even still in there. I'm sure that was all part of your great scheme, Neal.

I'm coming after you. I caught you twice, now.

Third time is the charm.

I was still a little shocked to hear that it had really gone off. That he had really broken our promise and went after Kate, alright given, I'm not that surprised. I just thought that perhaps, I had changed him, just a little.

That's just wishful thinking, I've realized.

After all this time, after all these chances, he makes this stupid mistake. Neal doesn't think, he thinks like that of a child.

That's how it all started in the first place.

I remember the feeling of standing there, watching him run away from me. I know I shouldn't have spanked him there in public, but the brat deserved it and everyone else agreed. It's just there was this guilt that dropped into my stomach, that still hasn't completely gone away. I wonder if it ever will in all honesty. I did promise him, but he had promised me too.

I didn't know it could be possibly the last time I ever saw him.

I didn't go home that night, I watched his tracker. He had gone straight out the doors walked the streets for a few hours, but once it had gotten dark his tracker stayed still for a very long time. At first I thought that he had somehow tripped the connection and he was on the run, which was until I checked the location. I knew Neal was a drinker, I did. I just couldn't believe he had been there for a good four hours before he even moved.

I was in my right mind to go out and yell at him for drinking himself insane, for being irresponsible,, for running away from his problems. It's just that by the time I put my coat on I realized that his tracker was moving and a lot faster than it should.

Someone had picked him up, and I knew it was Mozzie before I even set out the patrolling unit.

Apparently a very drunken, very wasted Neal was slunkenover Mozzie's shoulder as the officers waited for him to arrive. Mozzie had assured them that he was okay and was going to look after him for the night. After checking to see that Neal's tracker was still intact they had let him slide away into the house.

I should have been the one there last night, I should have been the one to take him home and watch over him, but it wasn't because I couldn't swallow my pride, it was too late anyways. Mozzie had a hold of him.

How Mozzie found Neal, I'm still not completely sure. I checked Neal's recent calls and he wasn't on there, then again Mozzie is also a criminal so however he did it I'm sure it wasn't legal.

The day just kept running through my mind, I had reacted on impulse. We had stayed the night before as well and we were beyond tired to say in the least. When Lauren came in I couldn't help but dump Neal to the side, he wasn't helping anyway. And when he wanted to go home, it just wasn't fair I hadn't gotten any sleep either. It was when he started to test me and start a scene that I couldn't take it anymore. I don't know why I didn't let him go back to my office; things could have worked out better.

Neal might still be around.

"Peter? I'm sorry but there isn't even a lead to go off of. Without a tracker… there's just, there's just nothing."

Lauren was by my side now. She had yelled at me later in the office for doing what I had done to Neal, but damnit! I just couldn't sit there and do nothing.

"No, you're right, here we have nothing to go off of." I stared at the crime scene once more.

Neal had left me a grey folder. In it contained random pictures of Neal and I, taken in black in white. I don't remember taking them, but they were there. I assume that Mozzie took them, although I have no idea why.

"We have other alternatives though Laruen. I know how to find him."

Neal had ironically also left me the bottle of wine that Kate had left him, and I got the message.

This wasn't goodbye; I was going to find him.

What got to me was the cell phone that he had left. He left out an open text message, to me of course. It was simple and plain but only I would understand it.

'_You were so close to catching me, you broke your promise. Now I'm breaking mine.'_

I picked up one of the pictures that had fallen out of the folder; it was Neal and I outside this very house. The view was amazing, even in the picture. We both wore a smile, not the fake smiles that Neal was good and doing but real smiles. I flipped it over and read his writing; I knew it was his because I had spent years studying it over and over before.

'Partners in crime'


	4. A Picture Worth A Thousand Words

_**Location**_

AN:// Thank you all for the reviews, they are all appreciated. (:SwingDancer, your reviews make me laugh, thank you. (pdantzler2, I'm glad you seem to like it. I have to give you credit though, I wanted to write this fic for a while, but it wasn't until after you posted yours that pushed me to upload my own. Thank you as well.)

Three days seemed to just blow by without a signal trace of Neal. He had hidden himself good, wherever it was he was hiding. I had thought of everything possible to get a lead to his whereabouts… but every time the results were the same.

No one had talked, heard or even seen head nor tail of the blasted criminal. Neal was good, he was but he was losing his touch. There was one card, just one that was throwing of his game, and I was holding that card.

The picture I had found was now tacked to my bulletin board.

The chase was one once more.

I gave up on wishing that he would turn himself in, come clean for once, that just maybe he would come running back to the head quarters, wanting another chance… I wouldn't give it to him, of course. No that would be completely foolish.

_Wouldn't it_?

It just racked my mind that I had lost my partner, that Neal wasn't my partner.

The last three nights I had went home, talked to my beloved wife as much as I could. It just seemed that my voice was lost, that my mind was occupied. She knew it of course, and tried to tell me that I was going through some sort of_ grieving_. Yeah right, sorry El, I don't '_grieve_'.

Especially not for criminals, not for Neal.

It's just that I sort of missed some things about him, Neal I mean. I might just miss the way he used to be cocky and loud and _annoying _and just Neal... The way he would tilt his head when he was thinking about a case. I might just miss his innocent smile, the way he thought he owned the place. I might also miss all the silly little games he used to play, all the bad advice he would give, the way he thought of us a partners…

When we were partners, that is. Were not partners anymore.

He is a criminal, and I am the law enforcer. Different as night and day.

Sighing I turned back to my desk, I had a lot of work to do. They wouldn't let me finish any other cases until I found Neal. He would stop all my other work just like that, wouldn't he?

Typical Neal.

Even when he isn't here he knows how to distract me and not let me get my work done.

"Lauren?" I moved over to Neal's very extensive folder, most of it was just hypothesizes not acutely facts … but they were all we had to go off of, for now.

"Yes, Peter?" Lauren had grown slightly less talkative over the past days, she didn't have anyone to make fun of, didn't have any competition, or anyone to bicker with... she had just kept most of her thoughts and comments to herself, something I wasn't used to.

It's like her dog died or something.

"Could you get me a transcript of all the places that Neal has ever lived? Check his other false names as well. I want to know where he would go."

She nodded before leaving me back to my work, leaving me to my very boring, very plain, very _empty_, office.

I turned and studied the back and white picture once more, there was something off about it, there was something this time that stood out.

What was I missing? What was it that I had forgotten? I could feel my eyes intently scanning the paper, over and over again, before it finally screamed out at me.

I felt my blood rush to my head. "Could it be that simple?" I grabbed my coat quickly throwing it on before departing from the building.

If my instincts were correct, I knew how to find Neal.

I almost ran straight threw my house door trying to get inside. It just had to work; it was my only real chance at finding Neal, before he found Kate.

The keys in my hands felt like a million pounds, I couldn't get my heart to pumping adrenaline. If this worked I was a lot smarter than Neal had originally thought…

If this worked I_ may_ have just conned a con artist.

I shook the right key into the slot and broke through my door. My dog greeted me with a short sharp bark, but now wasn't the time to snuggle with the mutt.

There were much more important issues at hand.

"How could I be this stupid not to realize this before? How is it even possible that I didn't think of this earlier on, I am the one that came up with the idea to begin with."

I fled towards my bedroom rampaging to the bottom of my closet.

I needed to find the dark black shoe box.

"Please, damnit." I cursed as I ripped the lid off. "Be in here."

If it wasn't in here all was lost-

"Found it."

I knew I was grinning like a mad dog as I felt the smooth metal object weighing in my hand.

It was a tracking device.

One that I had installed myself into the back fabric of Neal's favorite black hat, the very one that he wore in the picture his stalker friend took of us. The very picture that made me remember the damnable device in the first place.

All's I had to do, was press the on button.

If Neal still had his hat, even packed with him. I would be able to find him in less the two hours if he was close.

I held my breath, clicking the button on the tracker and let it enabled. I closed my eyes…

_Beep…_

_Beep…._

_Beep…_

"_Please god, just this once-"_

I flickered my eyes open, watching the red dot on the tiny screen beeping slowly.

Neal was on the move.


	5. A Lot Closer

_**A Lot Closer**_

_AN:// Thank you all for the reviews once again. (: Just to remind you, you don't have to read my stories. Especially if you don't like spanking, I gave my warning that it would be in here. __A-Skid-Marker__, thank you for your review, it's too bad you find 'this could be such a good story if you'd just leave out the stupid spanking bits. It does nothing to add to the story and the idea of Peter "spanking" Neal is just ridiculous. It really demeans these wonderful characters.' I don't mind that more people don't read it because of it. It's what I write about, and if it wasn't there the story wouldn't have started in the first place, that I'm not sorry for. _

_wandamarie__, I hope things start looking better for you. I'm sorry to hear about your hardships, especially around the holidays. I posted this next one early for you. (: _

"Neal?"

Why must it be that every time I finally get to sleep somebody has to whisk me away from my peaceful dreaming and bring me back to this harsh reality?

"Neal, were out of gas."

Okay, that might be a good enough reason to whisk me from my sleep. "Mozz, fill it up then." I grumbled myself back to sleep, not even daring to open my eyes to the loud, boring, yet extremely bright day.

"I would Neal. Only I don't feel like pushing, this _giant_ hunk of **_junk_** to the nearest gas station!" I felt him flip of my hat in an unjust manor and I couldn't help but want to pop him in the face.

"What the hell Mozzie! Couldn't you just let me-" I couldn't help notice that it was dim outside and we were staring at a brick wall. "Mozz, where are we?"

I looked around; we were still in the car that June gave me.

Sweet old lady, I was going to miss her. Unlike that man that I once called my 'partner'. She did us a favor not letting those stupid fat police in. It gave us a chance to be able to climb down the fire escape outside the bathroom and get into the car stored patiently out back, and ride away to freedom, well. Ride away to where ever the hell it is we were now.

"In an ally. I couldn't leave it in the street, Neal. A police officer might stop to help and ask for insurance. Besides I'm sure we have all of New York looking for us."

"Don't be so conceited, Mozzie." I looked behind us now towards the open street. "Who would be looking for you?"

I unlocked my seat belt and ignored Mozzie's death glare, all though I'm sure I could come up with a good remark about how constipated he looked… but I wouldn't do that.

That would be mean.

"Alright Mozz, so what now?" I looked in the back seat of the small cramped car. "It's not like we can run around New York with a giant duffel bag either. People might suspect a thing or two."

"Why should it matter? You seem to like attention."

Of course while I was trying to plot a plan to save both of our asses he had to act like a child and pout. And Peter thought I pouted.

I do not pout.

"Aren't you feeling mature." I slipped him a glance over my shoulder.

"Oh please like your one to talk."

It was frustrating being around Mozzie for so long. Normally, even before I was sent to prison Mozz and I usually didn't see much of each other for more than a day. Not like this, we had lived with each other once sure, but we hadn't spent _three days_ packed into a car together.

"Mozz, just tell me what to do." I looked back over towards him slumping down into the seat. "Where do we go from here?"

It was hard to know the game plan. The police knew that we were con artist, and I was known for plotting out a plan and getting away… so we did the very opposite. We sat around New York hiding in a _car. _Going _absolutely_ no where.

Since Mozz was still being immature and pouting over a small little joke I began thinking, something that isn't good for me. "Maybe I should just go and turn myself in." _Nothing. Was he really this childish_? "How many years do you think I'll get. Two, four, seven, maybe even life?" **Nothing.**

"Fine." I reached for my car door only to hear it lock.

"Shut up for a minute and let me think." Mozz was sitting calmly with his finger tapping on the lock switch. "You're impossible to think around."

"Then let me out of the car, you can't keep me in here." Yet I didn't get a response out of that. Why the hell did he even wake me up to begin with. It's not like he needed me to be conscious right now anyways. "I should be drunk right now."

"It's eleven in the morning, you should be shutting up right now."

Mean, absolutely mean.

After about another ten minutes I heard him unlock the door. "We are going to go find something to eat." He hastily unbuckled his seat belt. "I can't think on an empty stomach."

"That's not a plan. I'm not hungry." He didn't even spit a word. "And I thought that it was because if me that you couldn't think. I'm starting to think that you are incable of thinking at all." I watched him get out of the car without even glancing back to answer me. "If I'm going I'm bringing the files with me."

"Great bring them; you study, while I eat." Mozzie slammed the door shut as I rushed to pull the files out from the duffel bag. "Hey wait!"

I opened my door to find Mozzie turning the corner of the ally, leaving me behind quickly. I had to run to catch up with him.

I knew he had money; all of his money was in a separate account registered under a fake wife's name. Mozzie was smart and I don't know what I would do without him and without Kate. I had a few quarters, a hundred dollar bill and about fifty bucks to my name. We had spent the rest at a hotel the first night and another hundred to go back to that small bar I was at the night before that. I had apparently left my hat in the damnable place.

That hat was about to cost me my freedom and my life.

I didn't know Peter was that smart, I didn't know that he would be nearly as smart enough to install a tracker in _my_ hat.

Apparently he was.

Mozzie and I were settling down at a breakfast shop about half a block away from where we had parked the car. It hadn't even been a good fifteen minutes before we heard the sirens blaring from across the street. Five police cars, two swat trucks and three FBI vans came flying down the street.

Right past us.

At first I thought we had been caught, that we had walked right into a trap but as they continued on down the street and stopping right in front of the ally, that's when I saw Peter.

That's when I felt my heart begin to race.

He strutted out of one of the Vans and thrust himself down the alley. Mozzie had gone as white a sheet. His mouth hung open and a large coffee muffin stood still in front of his mouth.

"Let's go, now." I jumped from my seat smiling at the lady in the shop. Before time ran out I grabbed Mozzie's fore arm and pulled him from his seat. It was a good thing that Mozzie had paid beforehand.

We walked out into the sunlight and began walking fast but causally in the other direction of the commotion down the street. I kept glancing at my watch as if I was late for something. Mozzie just followed strictly along.

"Get a taxi to stop." I mumbled to Mozz, and the next thing I know we were sitting in a pot smelling Twinkie.

I gave the driver a destination and we were off. As we slowly passed the new crime scene, our crime scene Mozzie rolled the window down a tad looking in my direction to cover both his and my face.

If only Peter knew I was one door away.

I could see Peter's old suit, the same one he always caught me in.

"What do you mean he's not here? You said that the tracker was in the hat, and the hat went anywhere that Neal did!?"

Peter's boss. His voice was unmistakable. Almost as unmistakable as Peters.

"He has to be close."

I smirked at that.

I was a lot closer then he knew.


	6. Phone Call

_**Phone Call**_

_AN: // Thank you all again for your reviews. (: This was supposed to be updated sooner but I was distracted_

"You think we made the news?"

The taxi had taken us to a main street, about two blocks away from the building that was our true destination. I didn't want Peter asking around and finding out that a taxi had dropped us off at the new place we were currently staying in. He would find us here, Peter is a lot smarter then he put out.

The building stood tall and within view of two birds that I was going to kill with one stone. The vacant loft looked over one Mr. Peter Burke's office, and if you had binoculars you could even see the crime scene from less than an hour before. Things just seemed to work out perfectly.

"Neal, if we made the news our faces are going to be broadcasted all over New York."

I looked around the current room. There was one small empty kitchen, a bathroom, a dingy old mattress laying in a corner and a grey tattered coach. We had the clothes we were currently wearing, my research on Kate, recently purchases binoculars, and some money. If our faces were going to be shown all over town, it would make it hard to leave the building to get other necessities.

"Then we better hurry and get what we need. Your face has a less chance of being noticed or even broadcasted. Go out get some clothes, a week worth of food, and whatever else you think we need. Remember keep it light, I don't know what else they have up their sleeves."

Mozzie nodded and started back towards the door. "What do you plan to do while I'm running all the arons?"

"I've got something I need to take care of." I was staring out the giant glass windows, binoculars in hand. From what I could see most of the vans and police cars had cleared out. There was still one police car, a FBI van and yellow tape surrounding the area, but everything else had disappeared. Peter was still lurking about because I could still see him, and that bitch Lauren.

I heard Mozzie unlock the door, but his shoes didn't budge. "Try to stay out of trouble. We've had our fun for the day."

I didn't say anything all though I knew Mozzie was looking for an answer. He didn't know what I had been planning, but I would tell him when he got back. Hopefully.

"Neal?" The door was open but he wouldn't leave. "Do you really want to go back to prison, that bad?"

I couldn't help but snap at that, I turned around facing him. "I'm not a child, Go!"

Mozzie isn't the type to blow up; in fact I don't know if I've ever seen him raise he voice. That's why I wasn't expecting what came next. He shut- no slammed the door, so hard that the floor shook and I flinched at the sound.

The only problem is he was still standing on the same side of the door.

To make it even better he had turned and started approaching me. At first I saw a split image of Peter, rampaging towards me. Like some giant gorilla, and I couldn't help but react in the same way. "Mozz, Don't!"

That stopped him straight in his tracks, staring at me as if I had turned purple. "What? What are you talking about?"

I knew what I wanted to say, I wanted to tell him that I thought he was going to come over here and do what Peter would have done… but I couldn't.

"Neal?"

Mozzie was analyzing me now. I could see the wheels turning inside his head, he was trying pretty hard to pull the pieces together and figure out what he was missing.

"Nothing, never mind."

"No, what the hell was that?" Mozzie's eyebrows knitted together. "D-Did Peter beat you?"

I knew my mouth was hanging wide open, but there was very little I could do to close it. "What? No, of course not! Well, maybe. No, never mind. We are not talking about this, _go to the store_."

"He did! Didn't he?!"

"We are _not_ talking about this." Obviously I had dug myself into hole. This is not what I wanted to talk about right now, no scratch that. I didn't want to talk about this period. Damnit, why wouldn't he just ignore me and go to the store?!

"I'm not leaving until you explain what's going on."

I threw my face into my hand. "Mozz, Please. I don't want to talk about it." This is not something you talk about with your partner/friend.

I gave him a pleading look, and he returned a better one.

"It's not easy to explain, Mozzie." I sighed. I was going to have to explain it either way, weather I wanted to or not. "Peter... Peter, kind of, well. Peter, you see he-uh didn't beat me. No, not exactly he just…" I could tell I was losing Mozz from the confused look all over his face. I took a deep breath.

"Peter spanked me."

I was waiting for Mozzie to tell me how wrong that was, that the law was corrupt and Peter should go to jail. I was waiting for my friend to stick up for me and tell me how we should sue; I was waiting for him to agree with me.

Instead, he burst out laughing.

"It's not funny." I narrowed my eyes watching as Mozzie laughed himself to death. "Quit, jerk."

After another minute or so of listening to hysterical laughs he sobered up. "I just find it funny because you have no sense of consequence. You probably deserved every last one."

"Okay, forget you. Go get the supplies, while I try to ignore this all together."

Mozzie burst out into another fit of laughter. "I can't tell you how many times I wished I could turn you over my knee."

"You know, for a criminal and all, you shouldn't be laughing."

With that he finally became serious. "It's different with you Neal, you could probably use some discipline." His smiled faded. "With your father walking out and all."

"Done, we are done talking now. I have things to take care of."

I turned back to the window as if I was watching something in particular, but not even I could fake over the still burning emotions of my dead beat father.

"Neal, you're probably the smartest person I know-I couldn't ask for a better partner. And I'm not going to lie, I was a little jealous that I had to share you with a FBI agent... but Neal, I rather him spank you every time you do something wrong then you go back to prison and waste your life away." This time he didn't wait for an answer and I heard the door shut behind him. Wondering why he couldn't have just done that the first time.

Then again, there are a lot of things we never do right the first time.

I'm evidence of that.

I couldn't sit around and chew over everything that was just said, I could do that later... right now I had things I needed to get done.

I made it down the elevator and outside without catching up to Mozzie. I quickly found what I was looking for about half a block down from my building. I put in the right amount of change, dialed the memorized number and waited.

It felt like forty years standing in that phone booth, listening to the constant ringing and the fast rate heartbeat pounding in my chest.

It rang once.

It rang twice.

And on the third ring the line picked up.

"Hello?"

I swallowed-noticing how dry my mouth was, I closed my eyes and breathed out.

"Hello, Peter."


	7. Left Waiting

_**Left Waiting**_

_AN:// Thank you for all of the wonderful reviews, and messages! (: _

_It may unfortunately be a while until I update as the holidays are nearing and things are starting to get busy again, however if I have time I will try to update as soon as possible. Even now it's late in the morning and I can't wait to go to sleep. (: I wish you all a happy holiday and thank you all for following the story thus far. (: _

"Neal?" Here I was standing in the middle of New York City, trying to locate one deceiving man, and here he was, finding me. "Where the hell are you, Neal." I growled into the line. It was frustrating that he could so easily find me, yet I would spend months trying to even locate a lead. We had gone through his car and found his clothing, even his damnable hat-oh yeah it was there. What bothered me the most was how warm it was, the distant smell of his favorite cologne still lingering.

I heard him breath into the phone, as if he was struggling with words. "Neal, don't hang up." It was the first time that I had heard from him since the incident, since all of our promises were broken. I wasn't going to let this chance get passed up. "Talk to me Neal."

I listened as he exhaled. Why wasn't he saying anything? He was the one who called me.

"Fine, I'm hanging up." It was a bluff; I was just hoping he couldn't tell.

"No!" the line barked at me. I knew that I should be tracking the phone call, but honestly I needed a word with him. I needed a second just to talk to him. I looked around Lauren was staring at me but I just gave her a nod and headed back to my car.

"Neal. Where are you?"

"I'm not-I'm not telling you." I heard him bang something in the background, something smashing. Neal cursed slightly under his breath, he had to be in a phone booth, I could tell because of the number he called from and the surrounding sounds.

He still had to be close, but how close exactly?

Maybe I could find him. Maybe we could make things right.

"Neal, tell me where you are. I will come get you; we can figure this out-"

"I have nothing to figure out! I know what I'm doing, Peter."

"Do you, Neal? Do you really? Because I think you are one head strong person and obsessing so hard over Kate that it's blinding your judgment! You have run away from your problems again, Neal! You're not solving them, your making more!"

"Screw you, Peter."

The phone disconnected. Neal, had hung up on me.

I clenched my teeth together. "God!" I wanted to throw the phone out the window, but then I had an idea.

I had to call back. If anything someone would pick up and I could find out where the phone booth was located.

I could find Neal.

It rang once before someone picked up.

"I don't want to talk to you, Peter."

"Then why did you pick up?" I had to admit; I was sometimes surprised that Neal was a con artist.

"Shut up, Peter."

Even though the statement was rude I knew that he wasn't going to hang up, just yet at least. "Neal, why did you run?"

"Why did you spank me in public."

It wasn't even a question, it was a plain bold statement and an answer all in one; I could feel my anger rise, but I was trying to suppress it. "You know exactly why, don't play like you don't know."

"You promised."

I could feel a part of my brake at that. His words seemed hurt and sincere, I knew that he had been hurt… but so had I.

"So did you, in case you forgot."

"It didn't give you a right to do what you did." Neal's voice got agitated. "It wasn't even legal."

"Actually you're wrong." Before he could hang up I had to get my word in. "You were released into my custody, full custody. You have lost a lot of your rights." The guilt from before had stayed… and now that I had the chance, I had to get it right. "I'll give you one thing, Neal. I shouldn't have lost my temper with you. I'm sorry that you felt I betrayed you and went back on my promise, but you pushed me."

It was silent for a moment before Neal responded his voice seemed distant and dull. "And I'm sorry I have to go back on my promises, Peter. I'm free now, and I'm going to find Kate."

What was it with this girl? Why couldn't he just see what he had and come back, Kate was a lot closer then he even realized. "Neal, you will never be free. If you run, you will run forever. Is that free to you? No, it's not. Come back now Neal, don't you get it? I'm going to find you if you don't; you're going to get caught."

"Come back? Why would… No, Peter. I can't rot in jail. I won't do it. I won't."

"I won't let them take you back, Neal. I'll get a lawyer, we can work things out. Just tell me where you are... we can be partners again."

I thought that I had won him over there, I thought that he would tell me where he was… I thought maybe I was going to get my partner back again.

I was wrong.

"Kate is the only partner I'll ever need." The words stung more than they should have. I had come too attached to him, I couldn't seem to let go. "I don't trust you anymore."

"You're never going to find Kate!-" I knew this time when I didn't get an answer Neal was gone.

I couldn't even call back because he never hung up, just left me waiting.


	8. An Impulse With A Consequence

_**An Impulse With A Consequence**_

_AN:// Slightly wonder why I even write. I've turned off my PMs for the time being. Apologizes for those of you I was speaking to, I cannot respond during this time. Thank you for all reviews, most encouraging. One way or another. (: had to update for you all, for maybe those of you who aren't enjoying the holidays with or without your family, you're not alone. Couldn't leave you waiting. _

I thought that I had lost Neal with that phone call.

I thought that maybe this would be the last time I would hear from him, thought maybe shit, I've fucked up because I haven't a damn clue where he went or even where he was because I didn't track the call when I should have.

I reacted off of impulse and as it turns out, uncontrolled impulses come with a consequence.

However, this rule doesn't just apply to me but Neal as well.

I was driving back to the headquarters, frustrated as hell that he would leave me hanging, quite literally and the of course I would get cut off by some road rageing idiot and miss the green light.

So, there I was sitting in heavy traffic stopped at a red light because every singal thing would go wrong in one day simply because one important thing needed to go right. This obviously wasn't my best day ever.

That was until I looked over to my left.

There standing seven feet tall was a black and white phone booth. The door had been smashed in and the glass had laid shattered across the sidewalk. Standing in plain sight was another shattered ding in the right hand side window as if someone had quite frankly punched there hand into it in frustration… but what stood out to me the most, wasn't the blood dripping down the shredded glass, but the phone that had been left off the hook.

Left waiting.

When the light turned green I could barely pull my eyes away long enough to turn into the closest street, barely being mauled over by a honking dusruptive, ass hole.

Once parked and outside my car I went running to the scene. I looked up at the nearest stores, there had to be a security camera taping all of this.

By all of this I was referring to the giant piece of scrap that Neal deiced to make his science project.

It didn't take me long to find the correct camera and ask permission to find the man I was looking for on the tape. Apparently, the store owner had gotten into a dispute with Neal and was glad that I was out looking for him. It seemed a little off that Neal would be starting a fight with anyone, but you can't put anything against him.

It's Neal for god sake.

I watched the video intently as Neal casually walked up to the pay phone and submitted the change. After a moment though his body language reformed, I watched him lean against the wall putting his hand through his hair, roughly pulling it. He had stopped for a moment and the next thing I knew his hand went smashing threw the phone booth window.

At least I knew what that sound from earlier was now.

I continued to watch Neal on a black and white screen. He seemed to be wearing the same clothes I had always seen him in, shades and all.

Then I watched as Neal took off, my eyes wide and waiting. Who was with him? Where was he going? Did he have a car? Did that car had a license plate? No. Instead I watched as he turned a corner into nothing, absolutely _nothing_.

Nodding to the store owner I handed him back the tape. "Thank you for your help. It is appreciated."

"You are very welcome officer; I hope you catch this man. He isn't good, I can tell. He ruined that phone booth! You saw, it was right here." He smiled tapping the tape twice. "All on tape, he will pay."

I thought about it for a moment, this man could prove to work against my plans. I couldn't call my boss yet or tell Lauren about it. I wouldn't even know what to tell them because I don't even know what exactly I'm doing myself.

"Of course, would you mind if I took in that tape for evidence? I wouldn't want his denying anything. I mean, that's solid proof right there that he did it, that he was here and all."

The man looked at me for a moment before his face turned full of excitement. "You are a smart one you! Here you go! If you need anything, come on back and say so! I could be an eye witness!" Maybe I could pull out your eyeballs. Never the less I smirked back at him and took the tape.

"You have a good day now!"

I nodded back as I went out the door.

Maybe Neal had rubbed off on me after all.

I checked my watch to see what time it was. It had been about twenty to thirty minutes since Neal had called me, maybe he could still be around here somewhere. It was worth a shot.

What more did I have to lose?

I briskly skated down the sidewalk far past my car. I was going to see what was held around the corner Neal had disappeared to. Maybe there was a store, a shop, a diner, something that he could have stopped at.

I was almost around the corner when my cell phone went off. I thought about answering it but something caught my eye.

There stood my answer.

One middle aged man, balding rapidly, carrying three bags and four coats. It may not be exactly what I was looking for, or even who I was looking for but I could still feel my heart skip a beat.

I was one step closer to finding Neal, because I was two steps behind his partner.


	9. A Knock At My Door

_**A knock on the door**_

_AN:// Thank you for all the reviews_

I shouldn't have called Peter. I knew that before he showed up at my door.

There are a lot of things in life that people just shouldn't do, _we should have just known better. _I should just have known better.

I _should _have known better than to open the knock at my door, I _should _have known even better when a second knock sounded behind my door. I _should_ have never opened up my heart,_ should_ have left it shut.

What I really should have known was that Kate really meant goodbye, that she only wanted me because she thought I was going to make it big, because she thought I was going to have money. I should have known that from the beginning, I should have known that I would turn my back on Peter; that he and I were at lot like water and oil. At some point someone lights a match and the oil gets blamed for the fire.

Kate is that match.

Mozzwould be the glass trying to hold us all together, trying to make me behave like a civilized person and keeping my sorry ass out of jail. Sure he may not love Peter but he accepts him. I knew Mozz would be absolutely furious with me when I told him that I had called Peter without telling him… I just had to figure some things out. He said a lot before he went to go get our supplies, and it made me realize how much Mozz really did for me, how much he cared. He played lawyer for me, helped me out of jail and once out he helped me stay out of trouble... He even helped me get away from Peter. He was there when Kate left me and never stopped trying to find her, unlike what Peter did. He took me under his wing when I was sick and when I was insanely drunk. Mozz gave up a lot for me; he cared for me like a brother.

Peter cared for me like a father.

He would pretend to act like he was, spanking me and lecturing me all the time. It's just I couldn't take it when he humiliated me in front of everyone. It just reminded me of my biological father, I don't know if Mr. Agent Peter Burke searched my files far enough to read all the hospital incidences. I had a lot of them growing up. Broken bones, burns and bruises… too many to be accidents. Too many lies being believed.

You thought I was a con artist. Apparently you never met my father.

I waited for Mozzie to get back to the store. I wanted to apologize to him, and tell him he didn't need to look after me anymore, I had to fight my own battles now. Even if it meant rotting in jail.

It had been longer then I thought it would be for Mozz to return but finally there was a knock at the door.

"You forget your key but you don't forget to lecture me before you go?" I yelled at the door. Not hearing a response I rolled my eyes and threw down the towel that I had wrapped around my bleeding hand. Tip to the wise, don't smash your hand into any glass objects.. You won't win.

The knock repeated itself from the dark oak door.

"Heard you the first time." I mumbled. I unlocked four locks holding me from the rest of the world, whisking the door open. "Look, Mozz I'm sorry-"

When I opened the door I didn't except what I saw. Two large brown eyes blew into mine; I felt my heart stop beating in my dull chest. A cold sweat breaking from my forehead, I had been searching months for her.

Kate, lit the match.

"Hello, Neal."

My tongue felt like it had been stung by a wasp. Words wouldn't form from my voice; every thought that was running through my head had swallowed them. "K-Kate-"

I had dreamed of this day for a while now. I would find Kate and she would come running towards me, jumping into my open arms. Her soft tender lips would mold into mine and we would run away forever. It would be perfect.

Nothing in my world would ever fall perfect.

This wasn't right. Because something was completely different about her, this wasn't the Kate that I had lost, no this was the Kate I never knew existed. There was a sick grin sinking down her face. Her eyes wild and crisp. Where was the romantic, soft and gentle girl that left me? I would later find that she was never real, _never existed_.

She backed me back into my small apartment, kicking the door shut behind her. Kate's eyes never left me, mine never left the glittering machine she held roughly in her left hand.

"I've grown tired of waiting for you to do what I've asked." She pointed the sliver machine directly at my heart, not wavering for a moment.

I hated guns, and yet here one was stunning me in the hands of a heart I once loved.

She _should _have killed me here.


	10. Shot

_AN:// Reviews, were wonderful... Couldn't help myself throwing another curve ball. Hope you all get a kick out of this chapter. (: Thank you_

_(Well, this was supposed to be posted sooner however I needed to get a new charger for this lovely piece of shit, which is considered a laptop. I apologize for the wait.) _

"Kate?" I didn't know if she really had the intent to kill me, but if she did I needed to at least know why. "Kate, what's going on?" I don't know if she could see into my head or not or even if she could read every last thought and feeling scrambling through my head. I did know however that it was written well across my face.

"Neal, why couldn't you give Peter what I asked for? Why couldn't you just give it to him, you fucking idiot?!" The gun was still arrowed directly at my chest, fingers engaged to strike and release the bullet if she chose.

"What are you talking about-"

"Shut up! You know exactly what I'm talking about you sly dog, the money! Everything you stole and hid. Where is it!?"

I should have known all along this was about the money. Kate never loved me; she loved what she thought I had.

"Kate, just answer me a few questions and I swear I'll tell you." I looked up with my confused and hurt orbs. It didn't really matter if she shot me now; I had also fallen for what I thought I had. "If not, do it Kate. Shoot me. I gave up my freedom for you. I gave up everything, so you could walk. I took the blame Kate, because I loved you."

I watched as Kate analyzed me for a moment. "Three questions and you better tell me or Mozzie's going to get a bullet through his head when he gets back." She leaned against the door, the gun never leaving my direction.

I needed my questions answered before Mozzie returned. "Why did you lie to me, pretend that you loved me?"

I watched her eyes flash as if something I sad drew bile in her throat.

"I didn't lie to you; and I didn't pretend to love you either. You promised me wealth Neal. You promised me that we could have everything, that we could run free. Four years ago, four Neal! You've wasted my time. That's not who I fell in love with."

"And you're not who I fell in love with either, you fell in love with a dream and greed."

"Is that your second question?" She cocked the gun sideways. "Because if it is, you're not going to get the third."

"No, did Peter know of your plan? Whatever your plan was?" I was hoping that she wouldn't realize that the question was actually two questions.

She drew in a breath chewing on the corner of her mouth for a moment before finally working up an answering. "Peter didn't know exactly. He thought I was trying to help you stay out of jail. I came up with the idea of pretending like I had been captured. He just went along with it, promising you that he would find me. He knew exactly where I was this whole time, Neal." She smirked. "I guess you're not the only lire here, not the one who can't keep a promise."

"I already knew that." I mumbled remembering the day that Peter broke that promise. I was about to ask my final question when there was a sudden knock on the door.

Kate looked at me narrowing her eyes. "Don't say a word." She whispered.

The air was silent for a moment. And I could hear my heart beating restlessly through my chest. Please don't be-

"Neal? Neal… it's Mozz. Open up." A smirk played across Kate's full lips.

"Tell him to come in, or I open the door and shoot him." I watched as she slowly unlocked the door, nodding in my direction, giving me the cue.

I opened my mouth to tell him to come in… but I couldn't do it. Kate was smart, smarter than me at the moment. If I told Mozzie to come in. She would kill him.

She ignored me, and opened the door slightly staying directly behind it. I heard Mozz sigh before the oak door slid open.

"I'm sorry Neal." My heart skipped a beat. This couldn't be happening. Mozzie stood on the other side of the door, reveling Peter behind him.

I opened my mouth, wanting to scream a thousand different things but instead all I could do is stay stunned in place. Kate was already pointing a gun at Peter, who was completely unaware of her presence.

Peter bumped past Mozzie who had slowly started to approach me. "No! Peter, Peter-Run!"

It was too late, Kate slammed the door behind them locking them in place with the same solid gun. "Peter, Mozz… wonderful. So very glad you could join us. Neal here is playing a game with me. He's on his last question before I win the prize. Take a seat on the bed."

Peter's head shot to the side realizing I wasn't alone, that now we all were in danger.

And he had just walked head first into it.

Kate was a bigger threat then either of us had originally known.

I don't know how it happened really; It was like watching snow fall. One slow, slow bit at a time.

One moment Kate was pointing the gun at me, the next at Peter who had also drew out his own weapon. It was a slow draw; I don't know how it got to this point. There was no doubt in my mind, that both had the intent to kill one another. This is how come I don't know how I jumped in-between both mechanical guns, I don't know how I stood between two of the most things I ever cared about..

But there I was.

I watched them both scream incoherent things to me; Peter's mouth was moving hastily. My back towards what I had given up, Kate.

I don't think they even realzied that I was the only thing standing between them. It was too late anyway. The shot and already been wasted.

She had put a bullet through me, piercing out my chest.

I don't know if I screamed, I don't know if I had the chance.

I just knew, I would die trying for Peter. Because without Kate, he and Mozz were all I had left.

All I had left to die for.

Kate. You just answered my last question.


	11. Funeral

**_Funeral _**

_AN:// I've got_ _finals coming up here fast, so unfortunately if I'd like to get my license. I get to study. Don't know how much I'll be posting here, but I'll try. (Reviews, were absolutely amazing. Thank you.)_

I've seen people shot before. I've seen them die. I've even shot a few people myself. Never in my life, have I seen someone that I care about die right in front of me. I never would have thought Neal would jump in-between Kate in I. I hardly had the time to direct my bullet to the roof.

It didn't matter.

Neal had already played as my bullet vest.

I watched his blue sterling eyes scream into mine. I don't know if he really knew what he was doing, I don't know who he was trying to protect. Neal, fell to the floor. His eyes slowly closing. I looked to find his blood splattered across my white shirt, and Mozz's devastated face.

Kate's scream broke the cold silence, she had too fallen to the floor her eyes never swaying from Neal's unmoving body. "I killed him. I killed Neal."

"Call 911, **Now**." I threw my cell phone at Mozzie, who caught it with ease. "Neal!" I tossed myself down to the floor next to him. Blood was seeping towards my shoes, his blood. "Neal?!" I grabbed him pushing him onto his back. His coat was soaked in blood, and I began to panic more.

"I killed Neal! I killed him! I didn't mean to! I was supposed to shoot you!" Tears leaked from Kate's eyes but I ignored her all together, she shot the man that was turning his life around. She had just taken away someone from me that should have never been in this predicament to begin with. Neal couldn't die now, I couldn't lose him again. I had just found him.

"Hang on, buddy. Stay with me, Neal. Come on." Neal's eyes weren't open. He barely moved in my arms. His eye lids twitched open for a moment, his mouth coughing out blood. He gurgled something, something I couldn't understand before his eyes closed and he went completely still.

"We have a man who has just been shot at 21'st and Broadway in the apartment complex at the top floor-room 249. We need an ambiance and emergency assistance, now."

I could hardly listen to Mozzie speak into the line as I checked for a pulse.

There wasn't one.

I pulled off his jacket and ripped open his button down blue shirt, finding the bullet hole on the right side off his chest I called for Mozzie. "Put pressure on it."

I started CPR when I again realized, the room was completely silent again. I looked up to find Kate, a gun to her head. "I'll tell him, you tried."

When I watched her pull the trigger for the second time, I watched her fall limp onto the floor. "You're not going to the same place as him, bitch."

I heard the ambulance closing in. They had to get here in time. They had to, this was my fault. I should have never lost my control in the office, I should have kept my impulses in check… but I didn't. I followed Mozzie into the apartment, thinking now I had finally found Neal. I trapped him in the elevator at gun point demanding where he was. To my surprise Mozzie told me he thought he needed me, and that he would tell me where he was on one condition.

That I would keep him out of jail, that I would keep Neal safe.

Now, I had only kept half my promise.

Neal, could be dead.

The paramedics rushed through the door pushing me aside, pushing me away. I tried to hold myself back, trying to let them do their job.

It was just hard to watch, but they were getting him out quickly. Even if this felt like years.

I ran with them down the hallways and out into the open air. I watched them pull him into the ambulance; they were trying to revive him.

I knew it could be too late. I had lost my partner. Lost Neal.

I didn't even think twice before I stepped into the ambulance with him, watching as I could do nothing. The doors slammed shut and the siren blew off again, leaving Mozzie standing alone in the distance. I couldn't think of him now, I was too selfish to even consider letting Mozzie ride with Neal instead of me.

It was too late anyway, they were shoving tubes in Neal, everywhere you could possibly think.

"He's lost most of his blood, and we can't get a pulse."

"How long ago did he stopped breathing?"

"He might have brain damage."

"We need to get a pulse first."

I had tried blocking them out, like this wasn't happening. I tried to think that Neal was going to be okay, that he wasn't going to die.

If he hadn't already.

I hate funerals and I refuse to go to Neal's.


	12. A Singel Pulse

_**A single pulse **_

_AN:// Hey sorry for the wait, finals were a bitch. White Collar's new episodes come out this Tuesday! So let's see if I can finish this story before then. Hope you all enjoy this next chapter, and thank you all for the reviews and messages to keep me going! (: _

A single pulse, it was all I needed from him. All I really wanted. I could hardly feel my own. Could hardly feel the blood coursing its rate in my body. Kate was a mistake from the get go. I should have known. She had conned the con man. She had stolen his heart and taken her life and maybe his as well. Neal deserved better. He didn't deserve to die.

I don't know that even if he did lived, that he could live without her. It was his life after all. She was everything to him. . . at least as far as I knew.

"CLEAR!" I watched as the emergency care triggered another shot into Neal's body. They way his body flickered in shock. I held my breath.

Please god.

I promise, I will take care of him this time. I promise I won't act on impulse anymore. Please, god just let me tell him I'm sorry.

I thought my mind was playing tricks on me, when I heard his heart beat scream onto the monitor.

Neal was alive.

I felt my eyes water. I had another chance. I could tell him I was sorry, I could tell him what he meant to me. We could get his life back on track, he could get married have kids, he could start over.

Or so I thought.

We arrived at the hospital, and before I knew it Neal had been whisked away, again. I watched them pull him behind two swinging doors.

I would have to wait.

The doctor came out and informed me that Neal was in critical condition. His left lung had been deflated, as well as losing over half of his blood, as had two shattered ribs. As if this wasn't enought to come to terms with Neal could have potential brain damage . . . that is if he ever woke up.

Neal went through surgery to have the bullet removed from his chest. After the doctor informed me that he had been stabilized I was able to see him.

When I first walked into the room, I thought I had gone into the wrong one. The young man lying in the bed resembled nothing of that from memory. Neal's face was whiter then the sheets he laid in. Tubes ran from all over his body, like a highway from one city to another. Neal's hair was limp and tossed-worn and dead would better describe it. What got to me the most was the broken smile fallen into a deep slanted line and his eyes were shut closing out all the light that flowed out f them.

Neal was gone.

I felt the bitter sick feeling in my stomach. I knew this was my fault and it burned me to believe it. If I would have done just one thing different, just one fucking thing, I would still have Neal alive. Tears cascaded from my eyelids as I scuffed my way over to him. There was already a chair next to his bed side waiting and I quickly occupied it.

I don't know if you are able to hear people when you are in a coma, but even if they can't, even if there is a small chance that he can, I'll take it.

What more do I have to lose?

"Neal?" I tried to swallow the lump squeezing against my throat. I felt my voice crack, "Neal?" I looked down at his perfectly shaped face, wondering how a man like this could have ever survived in jail. He looked nothing more the a kid, innocence if not troublesome.

"Neal, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done what I did. And. And I just, I just thought that if I kept a close eye on Kate and you . . . then you could never run off with her. I didn't know she was like this, Neal. But I should of." I took a deep breath. "I'm sure you can't hear me." My eyes watered more sprinkling off fresh tears. "I just wish you could. I don't even know if you're in there." I gritted my teeth trying to hold back my emotions. "You were turning your life around, kid." I chuckled a little at that, remembering everything the two of us had done together, all the cases we solved, all the time spent together, everything we had accomplished. "You sure as hell were a pain in my ass, but it was worth it. I wouldn't do anything over, except…" I looked back towards the empty window, displaying the grey world. "You know." I took another moment waiting for a response I would never recive. "You were like my kid Neal. Even better than that, you were my partner."

I watched desperately for something to change, for him to open his eyes and look back at me, for him to just be able to open his lips again and speak something to me, even if it was just to tell me he hated me . . . but nothing. The machine had stolen Neal's heartbeat for its own. Playing his notes.

"I couldn't ask for anything more. The worlds going to be a lot dimmer without you around."

I smiled one last time before departing from the room.

"Goodbye Neal."


	13. Impulse Control

_**Impulse control**_

_AN:// I could really do me some Modern Warfare 2. . . But I would really like to finish this before the new episodes run tomorrow, well that would be my intent. I'm a last second kind of guy. Anyways, I would like to thank all of my readers/reviewers for following my story. KlairI, I want to thank you for your consistent messages pushing me forward to keep writing, hopefully this chapter will get you feeling better! Anyways, Neal's kind of dying here, so let's get this started. (: _

Peter, was the only man alive that could get me out of anything. Peter was there to get me away from jail, sure it took a little persuasion but he did it in the end. He was there to keep me out of trouble, for the most part. He was even there to take me away from Kate, which now I realize laying here in bed that she wasn't the right one for me. Never was.

I don't know if Peter could get me out of this one.

I could hear his voice flowing through my ears, I could feel his warmth beside me, but I couldn't see him. I couldn't move. I listened to him tell me everything he needed to. I wish I could scream back at him, tell him that I could hear him, that I was still in here. It killed me to hear him wait for my response, one that my body wouldn't let me speak. I wanted to let him know that he was also a pain in my ass, literally. And that life would always be less bright without me.

When Peter told me goodbye, I tried so hard to get his attention but there was nothing I could do. I just wanted to tell him that I was sorry, that I should have never ran from him.

I felt tears fall, even this surprised me.

Of course It shouldn't. I would be able to do something completely pitiful and worthless.

Something that would not ever matter.

It wasn't until I heard the door to my room reopen, that I noticed that something next to me was beeping. Two sets of footsteps carried past me and it didn't take me long to realize that my heart monitor was beating faster than it should. I would blame Peter if he was sending me into cardiac arrest.

"What's going on?" It was Peter's voice and I felt my eyes push more tears down my cheeks. "Is he in pain? What's happening?"

It took a moment but I head another voice respond, one that I assumed was my doctor.

"He has woken up."

It took a while but eventually the doctors pulled me off life support and I was able to breathe on my own. Peter had been back and forth in and out of the room. After the doctor had informed him that I was going to live a chocked up Peter took off, leaving me behind. When I finally opened my eyes, a white bright room awaited me. It was empty at the foot of my bed, and I guessed that Peter had left again. I felt a little abandoned sitting there alone. All this time I had been with Kate, in jail, or with my ankle bracelet, but never alone.

"Peter?" My voice sounded like a 90 year old man that had throat cancer, but it was good to hear that it was still there.

I jumped when I felt something touch my left shoulder. I turned to find Peter staring back at me, two big brown eyes jumping out at me.

He was here the whole time.

"Peter, I'm sorry." I tried to pull back, and keep cool and collective but I couldn't. "I'm sorry I took off on you. I had to go somewhere and I was so mad at you that I just, I just ran. I should have listened to you, Peter."

Peter smiled back at me and shaking his head. "No, Neal. I'm sorry."

"I know, I could hear you. I could hear you the whole time Peter." I smirked back at him. "I was just playing dead is all."

Peter narrowed his eyes. "I'm sure you were, Neal. Sure you were."

I couldn't help but smile, Peter knew me well enough now. "So what happeneds now? Do I go back to jail?"

"Not in this life time, kid." Peter nodded towards the door. There stood a few people I couldn't help but smile at. "It's all taken care of."

"Elizabeth, aren't you looking to good for Peter today?" Elizabeth strolled in next to Peter who was giving me a dirty look.

"Aren't I always? Your looking better I might add." She bent down and brushed my hair out of my face. "Don't scare us like that again." She broke into a bright smile. "Or Peter will have a word with you."

"You better believe I will, Neal. I'll be watching you a lot closer this time."

"I bet, I guess I'll have to work out some new skills." I smirked at their serious faces. "Just kidding."

Lauren and Peter's boss arrived into the room next. "Well, isn't it nice to have the both of you grace us with your presence."

"Glade to see your back to the same Neal, Neal." Peter's boss shook my hand and patted my shoulder. "Sorry to hear about Kate, but we will be ready to see you bright and early Monday morning."

I took a glance at Peter who gave me one of those 'we will talk about this later' looks.

"Sure thing, Boss."

"Good to see that I'll still have someone to make fun of in the office." Lauren placed a bouquet of flowers on the bed side next to me.

"Gee, thanks."

Finally Mozz entered the room dressed in a doctor suit and both Peter and I gave each other a look.

"Hello, I need a word with my patient here. If you all would take a step outside?"

Peter closed his eyes and shook his head but took Elizabeth buy the elbow and escorted everyone outside the room, before shutting the door Peter pointed a figer at me. "Don't even think about leaving this room."

"Mozz, you never do surprise me." I couldn't help but chuckle at his ridicules outfit. "Where did you score this one?"

"I could say the same out you Neal, cheating death and all." He looked down at his blue scrubs. "Out of the dumpster if you really must know."

"Didn't have to."

Mozz looked out the window from my room and watched Peter, Elizabeth, Lauren and his Boss talk to one and another. "Looks like you got a partner that can take care of you."

"Yeah, but you're the only partner that can do what he can't do." Mozz smiled at that.

"Good, because I'm not touching your ass, any day."

"Like I would let you." I stared out the window with him, wondering where I went from here.

Like I was saying before, Peter will always come work every day, every day including Saturdays. Peter doesn't see his wife nearly as often as he should maybe because he is always chasing people like me around, and he doesn't know how to have a little fun except when he comes over to spilt a beer with Mozz and I, Peter will always be too serious, always about the case. Always nagging might I add, but in all honestly it might just be to keep me in 'line.' He still slaves around like a dog but then again he earns his respect from everyone else. . . even if it just because he spanked me in front of everyone.

I'll learn to live with it.

I on the other hand, come to work every day, because I'm force to come every day, that and the fact that Peter's my partner. Hell I'd take a bullet for him. I would see my wife as often as I could, that is if I had one, and as long as it wasn't Kate. I know how to have fun… maybe more then I should, I can be serious when I need to be and it's always about learning to live. I don't have the respect from everyone else, but that's just because I'm an ex-con, which is perfectly fine with me.

It's just about impulse control.

_**FINISHED. **_

_AN:// I hope I got a few of you with the title of some of these chapters, but for the most part it looks like I couldn't fool any of you. Couldn't Kill Neal after all. I like a good twist and deception . . . in stories. Anyways, before I get asked. I'm going to have to finish my other two stories before I write a sequel to this . . . that is if you all want one? Let me know, you can hit me up in a message or a review. (: Thanks again, hope you all are siked just as much as I am for the next season of White Collar! _


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